It's my life~

Meet The Owner

I'am just a normal girl like other, living in fantasies.

Name : ahguaping
Born on : Earth. Wait, you mean date? :P
Height : 154 or 155
Country : Malaysia Singaporean
Language : Mandarin, Singlish~
Religion : U reap what u sow, law of attraction
Wishes : Everything good come true!
Hobby : Decoration, painting, quantum physics, psychology, rope skipping, healthy food, anything I can play with!
Ambition : Creator, Motivational speaker
Quotes : Focus and you can overcome all obstacles
Contact : Twitter | Facebook

I love

♥ Smiley face
♥ xx
♥ Stars
♥ cute, transparent & bling bling things
♥ Rilakkuma, Mickey Mouse
♥ sky-blue, white, yellow, green, pink
♥ nothing
♥ nothing
♥ nothing

Dislike

~ none
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Material Wishlist

✖ ~~Dyson Airwrap (799SGD)~~
F ✖ ~~Smoko Lil B Dumpling plush (36USD)~~
✖ ~~AKKO Prunus Lannesiana 3098B keyboard (99USD)~~
✖ ~~Smoko Kawaii Foodie Extended Mouse Pad (24USD)~~
✖ Travel around the world carefree
✖ Surrounded by kind people
✖ Cute food and toys

About

Find peace in quiet moments and simplicity//
Enjoys solitude for self-reflection//
Overthinking and often retreats to protect myself//
Struggle to take care of myself//
Holding on to past guilt//

What else to say!

The Only Guilt I Lived With
2025
Letting Go of the Past: A Confession and a Journey Toward Peace

It's funny how certain memories stick with you, even after years. Some experiences we carry with us, shaping who we are, even if we never get the closure we think we might need. Today, I want to share something personal that I've carried with me for a long time, something that's been on my heart but never fully expressed until now.

I think a part of me has always wanted to reach out, to share my truth, even if it's just for my own peach of mind. I've come to realize that closure doesn't always come from others - it doesn't always come from a conversation or an explanation. Sometimes, closure comes from within, and learning to accept that is an important part of growing.

A long time ago, I was in a relationship with someone who I truly loved. We connected deeply, but our paths diverged in a way that left me with lingering questions and a sense of regret. I broke up with him without telling him the real reasons why, and I think that has stayed with me, haunting me in ways I didn't understand at the time. It's easy to say I made a mistake, and maybe I did. But looking back, I know I was also trying to protect myself in the only way I knew how.

At the time, I had health issues and stress from life's pressures that clouded my mind. I had people telling me things that made me doubt his love for me, and it was easier to push him away than to face those insecurities. I convinced myself that I was making the right decision, but deep down, I loved him and didn't want to hurt him. It was confusing, and I didn't know how to navigate those emotions, so I choose silence.

He's moved on, and I'm happy for him, knowing he's found happiness and built his life with someone else. But I can't ignore the part of me that still feels guilty, as if I owe him an explanation. Maybe he never needed it, and maybe he's long forgotten the pain of those days. But I needed to say this for me, for my own peace.

To him, if he ever reads this: I want you to know that I didn't leave because I didn't care about you or because I didn't love you. I was struggling with my own uncertainties, my own fears, and I allowed the noise from others to influence my actions. I made the choice to walk away because I thought it was the only way to protect myself, but in reality, it was only me who needed healing. I regret not being honest with you about what was really going on in my heart.

I'm sorry for how it ended and for not giving you the closure you deserved. I wish I had communicated better, but I was too caught up in my own confusion to see clearly. I hope you've found everything you were looking for and more, and I sincerely wish you happiness.

Writing this isn't about reopening old wounds; it's about accepting that some chapters are meant to be left behind, not for lack of love, but because that's the way life unfolds. It's about forgiving myself for making mistakes and learning to let go of guilt that no longer serves me.

So, here's to new beginnings, letting go of what no longer helps me grow, and finally accepting that peace doesn't come from explaining the past, but from healing and moving forward.

Thank you, for everything. And thank you, for showing me that I am capable of love, even when I didn't think I was.

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